I am a California resident, legally eligible for the office of U.S. Senator.

I’m also someone who enjoys life.

Which is not to say I enjoy life in the poetic or epicurean sense, but rather that I like things being alive.

I do not like unnecessarily dead things.

On a personal note, I am an active participant in doing something, even when doing nothing seems like it might be easier but with possible long term repercussions, such as taking out the trash or taking my children to the doctor.

Let it be noted that I am not a scientist, or an engineer, or a time-traveler, or whatever the kind of person is who will hands-on actually fix the climate.

However, I am someone willing to use every single government resource you grant to my discretion or indiscretion to get the right people in the right positions to stop us all from dying.

That is my number one qualification.

Here are some of my other qualifications:

• I am totally willing to make mistakes. Huge mistakes. I don’t care about re-election, and I believe that when it comes to preserving life on earth as we know it, an honest mistake is better than a dishonest anything.

• I am ready to risk assassination attempts from corporate henchmen, misguided populists, shortsighted libertarians, cult leaders, and lobbyists of every industry modern society was built upon as I implement wildly unpopular policies.

• I am not a psychopath who will disavow his duty as an officeholder by refusing to aggressively tackle an issue that impacts my constituents more heavily than all other issues combined.

• I am serious. I am not kidding.

Another white male in the Senate, though? Really?

Yeah, I’ve thought about this.

I mean, fuck.

I get it. I get it.

I’ll do my best.